What I Miss Most...

Being a freshman at Virginia Tech is a whole different experience. High school was so different. You saw the same people every single day just about. There were only about 500 students that I knew or at least I can say I knew all their names. High school seems like it was so long ago and sometimes I think back and I get kind of sad. Yeah high school was high school, and everyone says college is way more fun, but as of now I’m not too sure about this whole experience.

It sounds so weird. Most people are ecstatic to be going off away to school but for some reason I do not know if I feel the same. I do look forward to being here and experiencing this school and everything else that comes along with it, but I do miss home. I bet when people read this, they’re going to be like, “What in the world is this chick’s deal? She misses high school?!” I will have fun and it will get better I know that, but as of right now this is how I feel.

What do I miss most about high school and my life before this? Well, I think I miss the idea of “home.” I was one of those lonely kids, not having any siblings, and growing up with both of my parents breathing down my neck about everything. I love them to death but I guess being their only child, they were very protective and I guess you could say strict. I was not allowed to go out and be like all my other friends. I was not allowed to spend the night at friend’s houses if there were boys over. I was only allowed to go somewhere if I told my mom, texted her before I left and when I got there. She also didn’t get the fact that times are different from when she was growing up and my age. My dad is a little bit more lenient but because my parents are divorced and I don’t live with him, he doesn’t have nearly the impact as what my mother has. He’s still very active in my life but he doesn’t hear about all the times I haven’t told my mom where I was, and all the times I’ve gotten in trouble. Anyways, for a lot of kids going off to college they would be screaming with joy at this point, but I definitely wasn’t when they left on the 21st of August. Yea there are times I’ve said to myself, “two more months. That’s it. Two more months before I don’t have to deal this is crap anymore!” Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother and my father so much, I just needed a break.

I didn’t know what I meant by a “break from my parents” or how long I wanted, but being here and not seeing them at all is a lot different than I thought it would be. I miss them a lot. They have become two of my closest friends, as nerdy as that sounds. I can’t wait to see them too!
I also miss my boyfriend, which sounds stupid because who goes to school as a couple, right? That’s like the stupidest idea ever, but when we talked about it before we both went away, we decided to try and keep the relationship, especially since we’ve been together for almost three years. It’s worth a shot. He is actually the best guy ever, and I would like to think that we will work out over the next four years and eventually get married. Hopefully my dream bubble doesn’t burst. That wouldn’t be fair or any fun.

Let’s see, the next thing on my list of things I miss is my room. In my room were so many pictures of all my friends, some trophies I had won over the years for softball, and random stuff that goes in rooms. There were random books I never picked up, and cool shelving units full of stuff that no one ever touches again after they put them down. Little baby pictures were here and there. A lot of memories were in that room. I’ve lived in the same house, in the same room for probably 15 years, so there are A LOT of memories.

In my room there is also something new, something different that I’m not really used to. In June I started volunteering at my local PetsMart and fell in love with this five year old cat named Silvia. I ended up adopting her, but there’s just one problem. I have a cat, a twelve year old spastic and crazy cat. His name is Slick, and the problem is that he absolutely hates her. So now, in my room, there is a scared little kitty (12 years old). Now he sleeps on my pillow all the time, and he does this really weird thing where he burrows under my covers and sleeps under them. I’ll just see this little lump under my comforter and then I’ll throw back the covers and he’ll get all big-eyed and scared. He’s my psycho baby though and I love him. So yeah, I miss him and my room and him in my room.

Other things in my past that I miss include my friends in high school. None of them were true friends, except my boyfriend: Alex, longtime friend: Hannah, and best friend: Crystle. Everyone else I thought I really wouldn’t miss, but then I think about it, and walking around campus now, I feel like I’ll just see random people, but I don’t. It’s really funny too in my mind, because there are about 30 kids going here from my school, so you’d think I wouldn’t miss too many people. I guess there are those people that I always sat with at lunch, went to all the sporting events with, and hung out regularly; I guess those are the people I miss. My boyfriend is one of those people though. I miss him terribly.

So all in all, I’m going to be very happy when I go back to visit home. Eventually on breaks I’ll see all those people hopefully and be happy once again. And I also hope that I’ll eventually make more friends here at college. That would be the best thing, and I guess I’ve already met a couple of people that I can see myself hanging with for awhile. I guess they’re pretty cool (especially my English class! Haha uh…)

So I guess the argument I'm having with myself is: Am I gunna start being happy here, or am I going to spend too much time dwelling in the past? (And yet again, I'm pretty sure it'll be the first one, but we'll see)